Warning: Satirical Content (Ye Olde Saturae)
Dear Classes of ‘26, ‘27, ‘28, ‘29,
While I may have never acquired a Board position (despite pleading, scratching, bribing, and praying), I held this alma mater dear. Every night, I dream about memories and values from my days of glory. You will realize that, while college builds Linkedin connections, bleeding green changes you.
Visiting my nephew, Cornelius Alfred Ferrari Crassus Maecenas VI ‘27 (goes by Alfie), I found the Academy has devolved far from its traditional values.
Last year, I read an open letter, referred to as “THE WASP Article.” It makes exaggerations but asks a necessary question: to what extent does the Academy embody its English Protestant heritage?
For the class of ‘70, WASP principles were Deerfield principles. The good old times were, in fact, good old times. I am currently sponsoring a chronoportation device to relive my days of glory.
The Academy would degrade itself if it misinterprets or forgets its WASP values. The interpretation of the Academy’s heritage remains in the hands of you, dear reader.
A classic WASP value is industry, especially when it feels near impossible. In the 1960s, the Academy had eight periods. Every single day. Two of these periods were study periods but the workload for each class easily accumulated. Since then, English teachers tell me they cover fully a third of reading less then they used to, even merely 40 years ago (a blink for Western Civilization). I heard, with horror, you no longer cover even Chaucer or the Bard.
Then, there was sit-down. Every. Single. Meal. All co-curricular activities were athletic. In our Greco-Roman tradition, strengthening the body must accompany or even surpass the training of the mind. Those passionate for the arts and humanities had to meet in leftover hours. These zealotries, whether local projects and marching bands, kept campus spirit soaring. Today, so-called passion projects only exist for the purpose of resumes and to tick application checklists. These bodies are lifeless, fruitless, futile, and cannot make any significant impact on the life of an individual.
I scoff at the very concept of Accountability Points. APs embody the very failure of the Academy. The Academy should feel deeply ashamed that the threat of punishment is the only way students are dragged from their beds. Disregarding duties should bring, at minimum, public embarrassment to students. Attending sit-down, class, or school meetings is a responsibility and conscientious choice, regardless of whether there were consequences. In my Deerfield days, if students skipped any commitment, the community feared for their well-being.
Life does not have Accountability Points, there is either success or failure. Accountability must be learned young; if not, we will breed a generation of feckless employers and employees. Dismissing your Academy experience to “it’s not that deep unc, it’s just high school” nullifies the concept of a preparatory school. The prep school not only prepare students for college, rather for life and leadership. Without the values I learned during my Academy years, I would be miss the priceless lessons of a proper work ethic, morality and guidance for a good life. A WASP life.
I was bewildered when I pass a group of students carping about a schedule of their own choosing. The Academy allowed me to be industrious and find passions, and the abundance of resources should help you to do the same.
Worse, the Academy tolerates this lack of appreciation for industry, which becomes irreverence for the Academy and its values. I see snowbirds (those who fly away at any chance) and hermits (those who shut themselves away at any chance). Such actions would’ve condemned students into becoming pariahs in the real Deerfield. Yet the old Deerfield community would allow for self-reproach, and eventually contrition.
When cut, an internal ardor for the community would cause students to bleed green. The Academy permits students to lay waste on their community, their garden, spreading weeds, forgetting to water and obscuring any light. Essentially, the Academy colludes in the collapse of the Deerfield student. The labefaction of the Deerfield student will lead to the disreputable, unproductive, and intolerable denizen. That denizen will hold the highest positions and influence in the land. This matter does not only concern a preparatory boarding school in Western Massachusetts. All generations, past, present, and future, from all lands must be perturbed
Another WASP value the Academy attempts to promote is magnanimity and discourse. Dr. Austin’s framework provides a middle ground for any parents or students who fear imposing political ideology. However, the weight of political discussion then rests on students. Students must learn how to handle that weight. From reading letters and Op-Eds in the Scrawl and the Scroll, I struggle to find any mention of contemporary politics or social issues. If students aspire for discourse, they must be industrious and make it happen. In my Scroll days, writers would print any opinion or tidbit of gossip. Such audacity led to the precursor of the “WASP” article, “Hubbub: The Country Club” in Vol. XILV No. 5 of the Scroll. I valued the honest and open conversation about the article that day. I doubt there is a student that can recall a discussion on an article during sit-down. The sit-down table I shared lunch with floundered every conversation and refused to touch on any subject with a drop of gravity. If all sit-down conversations consist of ice-breakers, I can understand why students skip sit-down.
I vindicate students for the faults of the Academy. In the words of a Greek-Roman who is unknown to you, Plutarch, “the very spring and root of honesty and virtue lie in good education.” If the Academy cannot provide a good education with proper values, the Academy encourages societal anomie.
Of such as these the verdict will then be: Deerfield Academy must be worthy of its heritage.
Your servant,
Cornelius Maecenas ‘70
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